Getting to know myself better, others get to know me better
Silent enjoyment, time out of the day for myself
Passing on things I learned
Why I love wiritng?
Man, there are thousands reasons why I love writing.
Here we go with 5. Lets get it.
1. Being alone but being not alone.
Writing is a lonely thing. I love to be alone. I hate to feel lonely. When I am alone in my room, the lights are shut down, the computer screen is put in night mode, my tablet lies next to me, headphones in, listening to instrumental hip hop beats or classical music, my fingers touch the keys of the laptop keyboard, I am as alone as one human being can be. I here no noise, I see no other human being, I see just a laptop and the letters that turn into words that turn into sentences. The flow, when I don’t think, and just let my hands touch the letters they want to touch creating the words and the sentences that combine to the text my heart wants to write. It is a process, I picked up from Shantell Martin. Just letting go, don’t thinking, just letting go.
I love it.
Why do I mean alone but not alone?
Is it with a lot of arts. Sometimes you do it just for your own, sometimes you do it so that others consume it and share the joy you have felt during making the art (hopefully you feel it.
The transformation of feelings is the main aim of every artist)
With writing it is pure beauty. I write at night, lonely in my room, everything else is shut down, and you read my text in a metro surrounded by hundreds of people. The text you are reading
I wrote weeks ago. To me it is already history, but you are reading it right now. To you my words, my message is right now entering your consciousness mind. Right now you get my feelings and my thoughts I had during writing it (hopefully)
Well, yeah man. That concludes point one why I love writing.
I, as a introvert can sit in a dark place, putting my thoughts down, decide afterwards if anyone else ever will read them, or if they are just therapy. Both ways I feel deep saitsfaction after finishing. After closing my laptop, after pulling out my headphones.
Then it is time to get back into the real world. The world in which I have to live. The world in which I most of the time love to live.
I think it was Stephen King that said that writing and reading are two great things. (Man honestly I don’t know who it said. Maybe it was one of my thoughts. Maybe I combine just two quotes or it just is occurring in my mind. Nevertheless credits to everybody that inspired me and maybe to the one that I steal the idea right now, I am sorry my friend, love you.)
So we go on. Writing and reading are two nice enjoyful things. But writing is carzy man, I tell you. You are just writing your own story. I love reading. Everyone knows that. Well everyone who follows me a bit. If you are reading this and it’s the first text you are reading, appreciate it a lot! Hope you will check some texts out. Say Hi on social media! And well if you already read a lot of text of mine, I am blessed that you took the time out of your life, I send you a big hug and love from the bottom of my heart! And please say hi on social media, so that I can thank you in person!
But well lets get back. I am just jamming right now, listening to Jazz. Man how I love Jazz. And
Aaron, my dear friend, mentor, business partner, brother from another mother. You one time told me that you kind of like such texts, where one just goes with the thoughts. But I think you meant it more this style.
Running thoughts. A piano playing. Basketball. Hit a lot of fadeaways today. Dirk Nowitzki.
You meant that type of thing? I will get to you on Whatsapp when I am done jamming around! Un abrazo fuerte!
AAAy Madre mia, the thoughts are just flowing down. Where did I stop?
I think somewhere, with writing and why I love writing right?
Vamos. Hahahah, You know what? There is a seng lets go amina from a German rapper. He is rapping in Spanish, Turkish and English and of course german. Cool song in my opinion. Just to tell you.
But well no I get bored by myself. Stopping to jam around now and I will get to the point.
So. Writing. I love it! And how I love it.
I think I loved it all my life.
My real first text I wrote was in second class I guess. Around 2002, around the football world cup. I wrote about myself being invisible. I don’t know if it was in a dream or so. But anyway, I was invinsivble and in the end scored the goal in the finals of the world cup by a header, but because I was invincible the world thought it was an own goal by a defender. I climbed on his shoulders to get the cup. Poor dude. (Probably I will write a piece about that story one day.)
But yeah, I remember that my teacher did not like the text as much as I did.
I remember being so enjoyed by writing it. I thought I just wrote the best story ever written.
But well, then I did not get any acknowledgement and was a bit disappointed.
But anyway, I think that was the start of my writing career. The first time I enjoyed writing and creating the story. HAH! Now I know again where I wanted to go with that.
The difference between reading and writing:
When you are reading you are creating an own world and are guided by the authors words.
When you are writing, oh maaaan, you are creating the whole story from scratch. You see a picture for you, you see a film, you write and create characters, which turn into friends. Okay. Don’t know what happened, but for the first time I stopped typing for a second. But know I am back, back on the track as one might say.
Oh man. Another thing, that kind of improvised writing I am doing right now, is a bit like the Teddy Comedy videos, of Antoine. Well when you don’t speak German you probably don’t know, but they are hilarious.
Okay. Another break. I think I am losing my flow. I think its time to say goodbye to this peace and right now I think I wont edit it. Just to see what you think about that. Like a creative process in work. Without editing it?
Mh, could be embarrassed by all the errors I made. But would be pure art. Oh yeah, I think the work I do is art. Well not every text is art. But writing is an art. Which leads me to another point I am thinking right now, so probably this text will go on for a few words (maybe pages, I have no idea, just going with the flow. Louis? I just thought about the days we spent in Dublin together, and thought about us going to make bets, hahah, and then spending all Sunday or so watching football and basket! Miss you, bro!!!
Yeah, that is just how it goes. Right not is 23_46, still listening to jazz and sitting in the dark. But well, the jazz piece does not find an end, its one of those crazy 12 minute remixes.
Don’t know whats going on. Maybe you are feeling like me right now, just hoping that this text finally finds an end.
But anywaaaay I think in the beginning I wrote that there will be 5 points. But sometimes, hey I make point 2 right now. I love about writing that you never know what you will end up with. The best examples are these lines, these words, this spiritual flow, you are reading right now.
I really just sat down 15 or maybe 20 minutes ago to write something. Okay maybe 30. I haaaaaaave no fucking clue. Point three I guess: When I write I don’t want to stop because I love it and I don’t know, time is flying. The time is just going on its own. Tic tac.
Tic tac. There was a song of Kesha or how this blond girl is written. I listened to it during one New years eve party. Yeeears ago. Oh fuck. That hurt. I think it was the year I broke my arm. It was 17 degrees bended (man English not good, sooorrryyyyy, but I wont edit that one.)
But yeah, another point. When I write memories pop up, what you already have noticed, I guess, as a reader that pays attention and sees through the mess of ideas and creative spurkles that came here.
OH maaaan. Do we have 5 points already?
I don’t knooow. To lazy to count. But my feeling says that I have four. Usually my feeling never trumps me (is trumping the right word?) My feeling never lets me down.
So I have to add one point more..
What do I add?
Just some words so that I continue to write.
Gras. Weed. Fuck no, hahah. Well. I don’t smoke a lot. Sometimes. I like to smoke Shisha. Every child that this reads. FUCK my children and grandchildren that may read this one day…:O (This emoji, you guys know?) Well, smoking is not gooood. Its not healthy. I honestly do it from time to time. Children. Grandchildren. As you may see my fit body. Looking quite good for a 50 year old huh? Well this body was not made with drinking and smoking but with the pure love for sports and eating healthy, but well as you are my children and grandchildren you know who I am. I hope so. If not please this night hit me in my face, because then I didn’t was a good father or grandfather…
But well children (kind of writing this in the voice of Ted from How I met your mother when he is explaining in the beginning of the episodes to his children, you get me right? The opening explanation.)
Well. Children, I need to continue with point 5.
I love writing because, because. Because it is like holidays. I think the day I will earn money through writing and the other things I love to do, like working for Asics or being part of the Basketball Breaks team, yeah it exactly is that thing. I am writing right now since two? Or three months? HEEEEEELL it is almost Christmas… Well I think three months I am writing now daily and I love writing because I will write everyday till the day I die.
Nice last point, Jan. You can end here, I guess. And you really should think of the presents you gonna get for your loved ones for Christmas.
Cause Christmas is soooon. And you are fucking lucky. You gonna be with your family.
But yeah I guess this finds an end right now.
Thanks for taking part in this spiritual (don’t know if this is the right word) but I feel that I want to put it here, thanks for taking part in this spiritual experiment.
Janito 19 out.
I would love to drop the mic right now. (Like Kobe did. Mamba out määäässig (a german word hehe)
Well I am out. But wont drop my Laptop. Need it, don’t have a lot of money you know. But money does not make happy. Well not on is own, that for sure not.
But yeah I am out.
What a crazy ride that was. 30 minutes or so.
I fucking love writing!
Cheers, love and happiness to everyone!
We should really try to do the things we love more. We should find out what we really like. I tell you, this what I just experienced, is just pure gold, I forget all the problems I have.
But well, I am out now, time to get back in the real world. Even though I don’t want to go yet.
Mhh… Right now it would be really egocentric/egoistic?! If I continue to write just because I love it without making any point, so I take a second while typing to the sound of Jazz (the long Jazz piece finished finally, another one is on now. Juuuust getting ideas while typing you know. That’s how it goes.=) Okay lets go.
Last thing I want to share with you.
Also published on Medium.